Author and Stoicism expert Ryan Holiday has outlined a framework of 12 critical questions designed to serve as an operating system for modern decision-making
Holiday argues that asking the right question at the right moment derived from the insights of figures like Epictetus, Seneca, and strategist John Boyd is more valuable than seeking answers, as these inquiries force an immediate audit of one’s priorities and control.
The central thesis is that a meaningful life is constructed through the rigorous, daily elimination of the inessential and the strict management of one’s attention and associations.
Key Takeaways
• Strictly separate what is up to you from what is not.
The primary task of a philosopher is to distinguish between what is in your control (actions, thoughts) from what is not (external events). The protocol requires an immediate assessment of every stressful situation if an event like rain or traffic is outside your control, having an opinion on it is a waste of energy that should be conserved.
• Choose “To Do” over “To Be” for maximum impact.
A strategic career protocol derived from military strategist John Boyd asks whether you are pursuing high rank and credit (“To Be”) or focusing on impact and getting things done (“To Do”). You can accomplish significantly more if you are indifferent to who gets the credit, choosing contribution over ego.
• Turn Dead Time into Alive Time.
When facing delays or lockdowns, you must choose “Alive Time” (active learning and improvement) over “Dead Time” (passive waiting). The metric for success is having something tangible to show for the passage of time, treating every second as a non-renewable resource that turns “dead” the moment it passes.
• You become the average of the people you spend time with.
Since your associations determine your trajectory, you must rigorously assess if your inner circle is averaging you up toward your goals or dragging you away from them. This social audit requires actively managing who gets access to your time and attention.
• Anxiety consumes cognitive resources needed for observation.
When experiencing fear or worry, the immediate protocol is to ask, “What am I choosing not to see right now?” Emotional fixation on one concern prevents you from observing other critical information, creating dangerous blind spots in decision-making.
What They Said
What Is the Dichotomy of Control?
Holiday emphasizes Epictetus’s core dictum: distinguish between what is in your control and what is not. The protocol requires an immediate assessment of every stressful situation.
If an event is outside one’s control, having an opinion on it is a waste of energy. This pairs with Marcus Aurelius’s filter: “Does this actually matter?”
By eliminating the inessential, one gains the double benefit of doing the essential tasks better. The objective is to identify the “Main Thing” and ignore distractions a state Seneca called Euthymia, knowing your path and not being distracted by those crossing it.
What Is the “To Be or To Do” Career Fork?
Referencing military strategist John Boyd, Holiday presents a binary career path: the desire “To Be” (seeking rank, credit, and importance) versus the desire “To Do” (focusing on contribution and impact).
The protocol here is to choose impact over ego. One can accomplish significantly more if indifferent to who gets the credit.
This is reinforced by the question, “Are you doing your job?” a mantra used by Bill Belichick and Sean Payton to ensure focus on immediate responsibilities rather than others’ roles.
How Do You Practice “Alive Time” Management?
Holiday cites a concept from author Robert Greene regarding “Alive Time” versus “Dead Time.” When faced with passive periods such as a pandemic lockdown, a commute, or a career lull the individual must make a binary choice.
Dead Time is sitting around and waiting. Alive Time is utilizing that span for learning, working out, or development.
The metric for success is having something tangible to show for the passage of time, treating the present moment as a resource that becomes irretrievable the instant it passes.
Why Must You Audit Your Social Circle?
Since you become the average of the people you spend time with, you must rigorously assess if your inner circle is averaging you up toward your goals or dragging you away from them.
This isn’t about being ruthless it’s about being honest. The people who get the most access to your time and attention are shaping your thinking, habits, and trajectory.
The protocol requires actively managing these relationships, recognizing that proximity determines influence.
What Is Anxiety Preventing You from Seeing?
When experiencing fear or worry, the immediate protocol is to ask, “What am I choosing not to see right now?”
Emotional fixation consumes cognitive resources needed for observation. When you’re obsessed with one concern, you miss critical information in other areas.
This creates dangerous blind spots in decision-making. The Stoic response is to recognize anxiety as an opportunity cost what you could be noticing if your attention weren’t hijacked.
Ryan Holiday’s key insight: “Meaning is something we create from our actions, from our decisions, from our choices, from who we choose to be… It is life that is asking us that question.”
About the Creator
Ryan Holiday is a bestselling author and modern Stoic philosopher known for books including “The Obstacle Is The Way,” “Ego Is The Enemy,” and “The Daily Stoic.” He writes the Daily Stoic newsletter and hosts the Daily Stoic podcast. Learn more at dailystoic.com
Watch the full episode: Ryan Holiday’s 12 Stoic Questions: The Cognitive Protocols for High-Performance Living via Ryan Holiday YouTube